It is with a great degree of sadness that I announce the apparent death of my computer, and the permanent loss of a few manuscripts, photos and other items I had on that computer.
I am writing this on my old laptop that I thought was about to die when I bought the laptop whose death I now mourn.
I do have some backups on Dropbox of my Scrivener files. But I’m not going to be able to download them onto THIS computer, which is clearly in its last moments (it took me a half hour to get on Facebook yesterday and I didn’t manage to get on WordPress at all. I’m certainly not going to be able to buy a new copy of Scrivener for this turkey. Which means I cannot prepare a manuscript— I was looking to come out with another poetry book at some point.
I also can’t really work on a manuscript on this machine. I might lose it. I did buy some cheap composition books but I haven’t written by hand in years. Even as a teen I used my dad’s old manual typewriter.
What I do think I can do is perhaps keep up this blog and perhaps my Facebook page. But it’s very discouraging because I so often feel like a faliur about my writing life. This just kind of puts a nail in the coffin.
Part of the problem is that some of the lost Scrivener files contain all of my notes for my current Work in Progress. I can recover them once I get a new computer and new Scrivener, but economically that’s iffy.
So my plan is to go to my spaceship novel that I’ve been working with in my head for years. I did lose some written-down material in the computer death, but the important stuff’s in my memory.
But this is tough. It’s just one more reason to believe that my writing life will never be better, and that i’d be better off forgetting about my writing and my internet life and just sit in my chair, aging and watching crap on television.
If anyone out there reads these words, could you take a moment to pray for me and for other discouraged/thwarted writers out there? Because the one thing I do know about life is that prayer helps.