Death Untimely: Short Story/Flash Fiction?

Missing kitten Quodvultdeus came home! He's still mad about the name thing.

Missing kitten Quodvultdeus came home! He’s still mad about the name thing.

This post was originally meant for the Weekend Writing Warriors blog hop which I participated in last week.

Death Untimely

Rap! Rap! Rap!

“Let me in,” Sarah Schell shouted. “I know I’m dead, I know that, and I want to get in! I have a complaint.”

Rap! Rap! Rap!

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” said a weary young voice. “You don’t need to knock down the Pearly Gates.”

The massive gates creaked open, and Sarah knew she should be at least a little nervous, but she was too angry for that. She’d been cheated.


This is from a flash fiction piece I’ve just started working on, so it’s first draft stuff. My questions are: does the opening grab your attention? Are you curious about what happens next?

I realize for a lot of readers having a story main character who is already dead is a bit too intense. But this is flash fiction, or at least it’s meant to be. And the intended ‘market’ for this particular story is among a class of readers who can handle this kind of intense.

I have been thinking about doing a flash fiction piece for a long time now. I started one a few years back but didn’t know how to end it. But this one I know the whole story, and so it should get done soon. In fact, I’d hoped to have it finished already but I got sick this week.


Other News:

My missing kitten Quodvultdeus has been brought back from hiding by his mother, Hissy Calico. He now has teeth and has already used them to chew on my finger.

I’ve been arguing with Stephen King on Twitter over his recent hate speech. So far, the Kingster hasn’t noticed. Probably a good thing.

Today is the last day of NFP Awareness Week. Have you done something this week to make people more aware?

I am on Wattpad. I’m not sure how much good this form of social media is, but since Hugh Howey, famously successful self-published author, is on Wattpad I guess I should be, too. If you are on Wattpad, follow me at:   I follow back unless the person has smutty stuff on theirs (it’s a Catholic thing.)

OpiumCactusThis is my self-published book of experimental/strange poetry. I’m only putting it here because I want this picture in a sidebar and I can’t do it unless the picture has already been in a blog post. This is the blog post.

7 thoughts on “Death Untimely: Short Story/Flash Fiction?

  1. I’m definitely intrigued. I want to find out WHY she feels cheated. And she’s already showing a lot of character just in this short intro. Particularly, “I have a complaint!” I’d love to see more.

  2. “I know I’m dead” and “I have a complaint” made a great attention-grabbing intro. I just hope you don’t mind that the latter brought Monty Python to mind 🙂

  3. Nissa, I like this little bit, it makes me curious to find out more. So, well done.

    A couple little things to point out from a moderator standpoint. I love to see your kitty, and I’m glad his momma brought him back safe and sound, but technically nothing should come before your intro and writing…so just scoot the little cutie toward the bottom of the page in the future, if you could be so kind. And, secondly, you are a bit over the eight sentence mark. I realize the rap!’s are short, but there are ways around it. Get a little creative with your punctuation if need be, use a comma or a dash or two, or in this case maybe three : ) We try to keep the eight sentence structure, so that the snippets remain concise, and everyone can get to all the different blogs, read, and comment if they so choose in a timely manner : ).

    BTW, so glad you came back again this week.

  4. Love it, I always enjoy stories dealing with the Pearly Gates and the start of the snippet was fabulous. Great 8! (Yay for the kitten coming home too…)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.